Expectations in the Time of Corona
Expectations in the time of Corona
He’s lying there
The cycle is clear
Anger
Disappointment
Desperation
Resignation
Fear
A cycle as relentless as the messages we draw near
the botched response of those we blame, how dare they, how could they, why would they?
the masses who are missing their next shift, their next gig, their next meal
the cries for help, for connection, for attention, for relief — unanswered if not unheard
and the fear
the fear
the fear
the next case
the next conspiracy theory
the next death
the next lost freedom
our civic duty is to distance ourselves
He lays there, expecting better of us
Served by strangers
Kind strangers
Indifferent strangers
Overwhelmed strangers
Entitled strangers
Stressed strangers
Skilled strangers
Not-so-skilled strangers
He wants none of them, but is forced to deal with all of them
He tells them how he’s feeling
He tells us, when we can get through, how he’s feeling too
ignored
homeless
disrespected
uncomfortable
abandoned
confused
He expects us to obey his commands
Fulfill his demands
Release him from this hell, the one we placed him in
He expects us to break the rules
He expects us to do what’s best for him rather than for the whole.
He expects us to show up and fix this.
And we can’t.
Or, we won’t.
Which is it?
Depends on the day, the moment, the part of his cycle he’s in
I wake each day in tears.
I move through a practice that helps me shift gears.
I strategize and contemplate — how do I help him address this fate?
Who do I woo?
Who do I subdue?
Who do I become?
What if it were ….. my child?
What if it were…. My spouse?
What if it were… my grandchild?
What if it were… my mom?
Would I respond differently?
This is where we find ourselves
What do we expect of ourselves?
What do we expect of each other?
I know what he expects of us.
I know what we expect of him.
And we’re miles away from finding middle ground
The cycle will continue
Until the virus fades
And what we’ll have left will be different
And we don’t know what to expect then
But we know what he expects now
Expectations in the time of Corona.
Whitney Bishop, Louisville, KY
March 17, 2020
